my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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