I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Fuck appropriateness.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
