I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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