ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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