Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
