I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Shame - the story of my life.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize