Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's blow job season.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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