I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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