You can't special order awesome
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
