Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
