we're blogging at a bar
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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