I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
