I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
