Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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