Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
