i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
