she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
