she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize