As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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