At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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