As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
