doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
