So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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