i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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