Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
