I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
