Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
