where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
