Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
