i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
