how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
