If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
