We're facebook friends in real life
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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