Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
