Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
