R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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