The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
