As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
