his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You are a genius and a whore.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
