Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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