you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
