I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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