I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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