I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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