I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
