At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it was like eating out sand paper
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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