420 ftw
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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