I think my vagina is haunted
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
