Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
