But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
