thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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