So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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