god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
