I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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