I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
