she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
