why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
