i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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