why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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